Chemicals & your body’s natural intelligence
A friend just told me that she quit drinking coffee and became a happier person. In her words, “I went from waking up every day wishing for the day to be over to going to sleep every night looking forward to the next day, which is how things should be!”
I was astounded to hear, not just because caffeine is so ubiquitous and innocuous (or so I thought!), but also because she drank so little, just one cup in the morning.
While my friend is likely an outlier in how detrimentally she felt the psycho-emotional effects of caffeine, her experience made me consider that pretty much all of us are distorting our bodies’ natural intelligence through the cocktail of chemicals we take.
To make it through the day, we need caffeine, nicotine, various pills and white powders, sugar, and screens loaded with dopamine-delivery apps. Then to conclude the day, alcohol, THC, more screens, and sleeping pills. These chemicals have become socially normalized through our twin cults of productivity and consumption. We consume to produce and consume what we produce.
We medicate so much because we problematize things that aren’t problems. Being tired in the afternoon isn’t a problem. But it is if you are expected to work twelve hours nonstop. So we drink a coffee, do a bump of some white powder, take the other half of the Adderall that we saved from morning. Being sad isn’t a problem. But it is if you live in a culture that has no frameworks for understanding and processing melancholy, grief, and despair (in part because you can’t produce if you’re crying). So we eat sweets, drink, and suppress. Being angry isn’t a problem. But it is in a society where existing power structures are threatened by your rage. So we smoke, drink, and numb it away.
I’m neither a purist nor a one-size-fits-all type of coach. I’m not advocating that we all detox from everything and live like monks. (But also, why not?) We all have different circumstances and biochemistries. You do what’s right for you, especially because consciousness can be a heavy thing to carry. But I do want to ask:
What would it be like if you just let yourself feel what you feel?
Why does every emotion or sensation or state of being need to be “fixed”?
What are you avoiding, masking, or hiding from when you feel like you need chemicals?
What would it be like just to listen to your body?
Lastly, if you do feel like detoxing (aka “raw dogging life” as Twitter would say), here’s what I’ve been doing. It won’t make sense for everyone, so take what works for you. My mood and energy of course still fluctuate—I’m a human, not a robot—but overall, I feel more balanced and resilient.
No coffee or alcohol. I just have a couple cups of green tea a day. I stopped drinking alcohol on a regular basis last year, but will still drink on special occasions. (Cut to: me throwing up mezcal at my friend’s wedding.)
Limit screens before bed. Sometimes I’ll watch something, but most of the time, I’ll try to read and meditate. (#1 and #2 are improving my sleep dramatically, which automatically makes me less anxious and depressed. I suffered at the hands of insomnia during my 20s, so I’m quite precious about my sleep.)
Movement of some kind daily. It does not have to be rigorous. Sometimes I just stretch and go for a walk.
15 minute app limit on Instagram
But also, I don’t endeavor to keep any of this up 100% of the time because chemicals can be really fun! A wild night out and a fat slice of cake should be enjoyed because they’re fun! And what's the point of life if you’re not going to have fun?
If you want to work together on any of this, please reach out. About me: immigrant, Stanford grad, ex-Silicon Valley, and happy expat living in Berlin. I help underrepresented go-getters define and create their own success.
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